Influencing people is one of the most significant undertakings you face as a leader. Oxford Languages defines influence as “the capacity to have an effect on the character, development or behaviour of someone or something, or the effect itself.”

When you have that sort of effect on others, you have power. Not a power borne of coercion – rather a strength from within you that invites people to listen to what you have to say gets them to want to work with you, prepares them to take the next step, and encourages them to share your vision.

Recently, one thing that amazes me in the coaching and HR work I do is how even the most accomplished, capable leaders underestimate their own potential and influence. It often takes the holding a mirror up to them, and describing them back to themselves as we see them – or challenging them to be bolder in their visioning, for them to see what’s possible for their own impact and career.

It gets even trickier when leaders find themselves in challenging situations: when they’re dealing with manipulative or non-values-aligned colleagues, working in dysfunctional environments, or tackling structural or cultural inequality. In these situations their sense of agency can evaporate even more quickly.

I’ve been having so many of these coaching conversations lately around tendencies to underestimate our own potential and influence that I thought I’d compile a quick list of my best tips for activating your influence when it feels hard.

These are six common principles we recommend to help leaders activate their influence – particularly when it feels hard.

1. Be mindful of the stories you tell yourself:

Observe what you’re telling yourself and ask yourself: is this true? Could I reframe this story and get out of my own way? Is it others narrative that is blocking you? Influential people are able to see past the noise and naysayers. They carve their own path, even if it means going against the grain.
For example, Arnold Schwarzenneger didn’t become a world-class bodybuilder, famous actor, and governor of California without lots of uncertainty. People in Hollywood said it would never happen because of his accent, because his body was too muscular, and because of his odd-sounding name. He carved his own path, and so can you!

2. Know your values and live by them:

Drawing on your values in times of challenge can give you clarity on how you might tackle a challenge. If you don’t know your personal values, speak to Hannah Powell of HR Optimisation who can help. We have a self-guided or facilitated process we can take you through.

3. Forget confidence; be courageous:

A lack of confidence is the a commonly cited challenge we hear in our coaching. But confidence is a unicorn! Choose courage instead.

4. Know who you need to influence and bring empathy and interest:

Use empathy and put yourself in the shoes of the people you’re trying to bring along – it will help you land your messaging more effectively. Alongside this be interested. One sure fire way to get people interested in your project or ideas, and influence them to join you, is by being, yourself, very interested in your project. Authentic passion and excitement are contagious, especially when the impact is clear.
You are much more likely to find people want to collaborate with you and are excited about the possibilities of what you might accomplish together when you take time to collaborate.

5. Bring a solution, not just the problem:

This one is self-evident, but often forgotten! How can you be or bring the solution to the table on this?

6. If you think you have no influence, you have none:

While we normally like to reframe towards the affirmative, putting it this way seems to focus the minds of my clients. It is literally true: when you believe you have no influence you immediately give it away. Hold onto your power.

7. Take care of yourself:

In order to be present and lead the way for others to follow, check in with yourself on a regular basis. This involves physical, emotional, and spiritual wellbeing. Are you exercising and eating well? Are you being proactive in regulating your emotions? Do you take the time to be mindful and pause for reflection? Are you investing in the relationships that matter and nurture you? When your needs are being met, you are far more likely to be aware of the needs of those around you.

If you would like coaching or support to help you boost your influence please do get in touch hello@HROptimisation.co.uk to arrange a free no-obligation chat.

 

 

 

Hannah Powell