Dr. Vivek Murthy poignantly said:

“Love is the world’s oldest medicine. Your ability to give and receive love is your greatest gift and your greatest power. It is what will sustain you on every step of your journey ahead.”

This seems as true today in the world of work, as it did at the time for the intended medical audience.

One of the silver linings of the painful journey we’ve been on through the coronavirus pandemic has been that many managers were confronted with an uncomfortable reality check. They discovered more acutely, that their people are actual human beings with lives outside of work that dramatically impact how they show up for their jobs, and even more so through being thrust into homeworking.  Whether managers felt comfortable with it or not, they were forced to become aware of all the issues and challenges their people were facing in their personal lives, because these life issue bled into their work domain and interfered with their ability to do their best work.  And managers were, often times, forced to engage in conversations with their team members about issues that stretched far beyond the traditional employer-manager relationship.

Since then, one thing has become apparent: The teams whose performance thrived, and who rose to the occasion, were those where their manager invested in understanding and caring for their people and their needs. To echo Dr. Murthy’s words above, their managers used their power to give the gift of love to their people.

What’s the Impact?

Not all managers were able to successfully managed this pandemic challenge and embrace their teams. Many chose  instead to keep their head down, send out the odd email, and wait until things went “back to normal.” Then they could go back to ignoring employees’ real needs and pretending everybody’s fine.

But for those managers who did make the transition, they kindled something powerful. When you invest in understanding and caring for your people and their needs, they will rise to the occasion, and performance will elevate.

To echo Dr. Murthy’s words, they y used their power to give the gift of love to their people.

When we love our people, we commit to understanding who they are and what they need to thrive. We listen to them more deeply. We prioritise their success above our own.

When we love our people, we give them the gift of believing in them, often at a level beyond which they even believe in themselves.

As a manager, love is your superpower—if only you chose to use it. 

Why not read on and find out our top 4 recommendations on how to show love to your people as a manager!

4 Ways as a Manager to Love your People

I’m aware that talk of love at work is scary for a lot of people. I can think of countless people I know, for whom even mustering the words “I love you” for the people in their lives who mean the most to them, is a huge challenge.  I’m also definitely not advocating for managers to start declaring to their reportees that they love them…. at least not right away, that could spook them!  Rather what I believe is most important is that a manager shows them love through their actions.

The good news is, if you aren’t sure exactly what that looks like, I’ve got you covered. Below are a few examples of what it looks like to demonstrate love for your people as a manager.

But before we get there, remember, love is a renewable and endless resource. Giving your love to others will never deplete you. In fact, when you give love to others, it multiplies. It makes them feel more worthy of love and capable of loving.

I’d like to think that’s likely part of the “power” of love that Dr. Murthy referenced above. Or as Jason Lauritson said “Our capacity to love is boundless once we learn to tap into it.”

1. Invest your time in them. 

Over Christmas I asked my 6 year old son how he knows if someone loves him.  Alongside giving warm hugs, he said very confidently ““they spend time with me.”

Time is the currency of relationships and my son understood this truth even at such a young age. Time is our most precious and fleeting resource. What we do with our time says everything about what we value and what truly matters to us.

People who love you will invest their precious time to be with you. There is perhaps no more powerful way to show people you care about them than this.

As a people manager, if your calendar isn’t full of appointments to spend time with your people doing things that matter or are helpful to them, you should fix that.  What it means is that you should have regular, dedicated time on your calendar for them individually each week – or at the least bi-weekly. And, when they need time with you, you find it for them.

This definitely doesn’t mean that you should smother reportees by micro-managing and constantly being up in their business, but rather that you be accessible to them in the moments that matter.

2. Give people the benefit of the doubt and forgive quickly. 

From time to time you’ll have a team member that f’s up.  The key is to sit down with them and really listen to their own experience of what happened.  Help them understand the impact, and be there to support them through extracting the learning so that they can learn from it and adopt a different approach in the future.  Where you can, give them the benefit of the doubt, let them know you forgive them and have their back and will support them so long as they learn from this experience.  Most likely they will never be caught up in anything negative like that again, and may perhaps proove to become the most loyal team member you have.

3.  Make sure they know that you love them and their contribution to work.  

Okay, back to saying “I love you” out loud. You should definitely do this in your relationships with those you love. At work, it is probably a good idea to use different words (at least at first).

Lauritson suggests that instead of directly saying “love,” use language to reinforce that you care about them and that you are committed to them. You can and should say “I care about you” and “I’m committed to your success here” and mean it. Yes, some people may be a little uncomfortable with those words on the surface, but deep down, it’s exactly what all of us want to hear from our manager.

Saying this out loud to your people (or putting it in writing) does two things. First, it reinforces to your people that you love them. And, it creates accountability for you to show up for them in a way that strengthens these commitments.

4. Model Accountability

In any meaningful relationship, accountability goes in both directions. That means we must do the hard work to ensure our expectations of one another are clear and be willing to do hard things when things go off track. It also means that as managers, we’re accountable to each person we manage and that we accept that they should hold us accountable when we don’t live up to our end of the deal as well.

The most significant thing people misunderstand about loving your people at work is that they think it means avoiding the hard stuff, like having tough conversations or providing feedback when things aren’t going well.

It’s exactly the opposite.

When our children took actions that endangered themselves and their futures, as their parents, we had to take hard and heavy steps to hold him accountable for that behaviour BECAUSE we loved him, not in spite of it.

Love requires mutual accountability. That accountability is the necessary fuel of healthy, trusting, and lasting relationships.

Great Management Requires Love

2022 dawns a new era of work.  We have already seen that the great resignation is upon us.  What this really is, is the great realisation that as individuals we are unfulfilled and, often times, feel under valued and under appreciated at work.

Going forward, we will be more distributed and separated by time and space than ever before. Trust can not be assumed—it must be earned. And, a new generation of employees will continue to rightfully demand a different kind of work experience; one defined by equity, inclusion, community and compassion.

This will require a different approach and mindset about managing and what it means to be a manager. If you want to thrive in this new era, my advice?  Start with love. If you can learn to love your people, you’ll be well equipped for the changes that lie ahead.

 

If you would like help shaping your management and leadership development at your organisation, or enacting a more trusting and compassionate approach to human resources, please get in touch today – we thrive on helping build high engagement, thriving productivity workplaces.

 

 

 

Hannah Powell